I recently accompanied someone to a doctor’s appointment. They wanted me along for moral support, but also as a second set of ears. When visiting a doctor, especially for a potentially serious condition, it can be hard to absorb and remember what’s being said; and you may realize afterwards that you forgot to ask some important questions. Aging compounds this as doctor’s appointments become more frequent and our memory isn’t as sharp.

Accompanying my friend to the doctor was revelatory. I sat, listened, and took notes on my iPhone as the doctor examined and engaged with my friend. The doctor was methodical, spoke slowly and clearly, and my friend appeared to take everything in. It was only afterwards when I shared my notes that I realized how much more I had absorbed. Not just facts, but also nuances. And I had asked the doctor a few questions that hadn’t occurred to my friend.

Having someone accompany you to a doctor’s appoint will be most useful if you and your companion prepare in advance. Useful resources for preparing include: The National Institute on Aging’s Taking Someone to a Doctor’s Appointment: Tips for Caregivers, and US Health and Human Services’ Support a Loved One at the Doctor: Quick Tips. Even if you visit a doctor alone Compassion & Choices’ Diagnostic Decoder is a useful tool for preparing and knowing what questions to ask.